‘Take a cue’ from the Holy Family, archbishop says at annual Wedding Anniversary Mass
Maria and Anthony Neari, members of St. John the Evangelist Parish in Indianapolis, look lovingly at their son Salvatore during the archdiocese’s 40th annual Wedding Anniversary Mass in SS. Peter and Paul Cathedral in Indianapolis on Aug. 25. (Photo by Natalie Hoefer)
By Natalie Hoefer
Marking a couple’s wedding anniversary makes for a happy occasion.
Multiply the figure by about 150 couples—plus children, grandchildren, great-grandchildren and friends—and you get a beautiful celebration full of smiles, laughter and joy.
Such was the case on Aug. 25 during the archdiocese’s 40th annual Wedding Anniversary Mass at SS. Peter and Paul Cathedral in Indianapolis, followed by a reception across the street at the Archbishop Edward T. O’Meara Catholic Center.
The cathedral was filled for the celebration. Couples celebrating from one to 70 years of marriage hailed from Brookville to Terre Haute, Brownsburg to Jeffersonville and 18 other cities and towns throughout central and southern Indiana.
In his homily, Archbishop Charles C. Thompson spoke of “authentic married love” and the ability of marriage to create “missionary disciples for Jesus Christ.”
‘Witnesses to transform the world’
The archbishop noted that, “While human beings can be rather emotional creatures swayed by our feelings at times, authentic married love is grounded in something far more than emotions and feelings, but in the conviction of the heart of one’s very being.
“As such, it is capable of withstanding great hardships, struggles, disappointments and even failure at times.”
Persevering in love through those ups and downs, couples serve as witnesses to the beauty of sacramental love, he said.
“You have taken [that beauty] not only to your children, to your families and to your friends, but have taken it out to the world as witnesses to transform the world in the way of Jesus Christ,” Archbishop Thompson said.
Jesus himself was raised in a family, he added, saying, “Any marriage striving to establish a holy family must take a cue from Mary and Joseph in keeping Jesus Christ at the center of the home.”
As with all vocations, the archbishop continued, the vocation of marriage and family is “rooted in our baptismal call to holiness and mission. …
“Stay close to [Christ]. Never take for granted each other or the power of the Eucharist for marriage and family. If you remain Christ-centered, despite hardships and trials, you will not be disappointed.”
At the end of the Mass, Gabriela Ross, archdiocesan director of the Office of Marriage and Family Life, shared that the anniversary couples present represented more than 4,600 years of marriage, 377 children, 220 grandchildren and 48 great-grandchildren.
Among those present were Fred and Sandra Schmits of Aurora, Primo and Sylvia Andres of Terre Haute, and Jose and Maria Castro of Indianapolis.
The Criterion spoke with each of these couples about their love story, the role of faith in their marriage and their advice for other couples.
‘Now that’s a beautiful person’
After their first date 64 years ago, Fred Schmits knew he wanted to spend the rest of his life with Sandra.
“Neither of us had any money, so we actually went dancing at the dining hall” of the small residential area where they lived on the campus of Indiana University in Bloomington, Sandra recalled.
While he was “watching her walk away going back to her dormitory,” said Fred, he decided, “Now that’s a beautiful person that I want to be with.”
They dated for three-and-a-half years. Toward the end of that time, Fred was teaching in Brownsburg while Sandra completed her degree in physical therapy.
The couple married in 1964. They have two children and three grandchildren.
“I can’t believe it’s been 60 years,” said Sandra. “And we weren’t young when we married.”
They attribute their long marriage to patience, perseverance and faith.
The couple was “very involved” at St. Mary of the Immaculate Conception Parish in Aurora, where they’ve been members for decades. Fred served many years as a lector and extraordinary minister of holy Communion, while Sandra served in music ministry for about 40 years.
“Our faith has been so important to our marriage,” she added. “We really believe faith is the center of marriage.”
‘My father gave her away to me’
Primo Andres came 10 days close to missing out on 50 years of marriage with his bride, Sylvia.
The two met at a hospital in the Philippines, where he was a medical intern and she was a nurse in the intensive care unit.
“She was beautiful, but she always snubbed me,” he recalled with a laugh. “I was a very shy person, so my friends went to her for me.”
By the time of their first date, Sylvia was leaving in 10 days to work in the United States.
“He was very much a gentleman, very nice,” Sylvia recalled. “In the 10 days I got to know him, I already knew he was the guy.”
A year and a half later, Primo joined Sylvia in Albany, N.Y. They married there three months later in July 1974.
“We had not planned on getting married right away,” said Primo. “But it just so happened that my father was visiting in the United States, and we knew we may not have another opportunity to have family at the wedding. So, my father gave her away to me.”
The couple, members of St. Margaret Mary Parish in Terre Haute, moved to that city in 1980. They have one son and two granddaughters, and the couple still works in the medical field—Primo as a physician and Sylvia as a nurse.
The couple’s Catholic faith has always been primary in their marriage.
“It’s a borrowed life,” said Primo. “So, we have to go by his rules—and they are very good rules.”
Sylvia agreed.
“God is the center of our lives,” she said. “And we don’t do that just by words only, but with action as much as we can,” she added. The Andres are involved in and supportive of their parish and the local Church. They also participate in medical missions in the Philippines.
Fifty years of a happy marriage have left Primo and Sylvia with some words of wisdom for other couples.
“Never go to bed angry at each other,” Sylvia advised. “When you wake up in the morning, it’s a different day.
“And I always say that the biggest problem you have, just be patient and don’t ever say the angry words because you cannot take them back.”
Primo said it’s important for couples to remember they are “partners for life. You go through things thick and thin—and usually, it’s thick. But when there are problems, they can always be resolved with the help of the Lord.”
‘Always start as friends’
When Maria and Jose Castro met at a soccer game in El Salvador, neither was looking for love.
“I was dating someone else at the time, and [Jose] was really good friends with him,” said Maria, with the couple’s son Jose translating.
The couple laughed when the senior Jose admitted he found her dark tan attractive. But there was more.
“I can’t explain,” he said. “I had never felt that way about anyone before, but I knew, ‘This is the right person.’ ”
The two did not date, but they did get to know each other through friendship.
Before long, Jose moved with his family to California. It was during a return visit home that he and Maria reconnected.
Maria was not dating anyone at that time. So, when she saw Jose, she said, she decided, “I’m not going to let this chance slip away,” and she asked him on a date.
Three years later, Jose asked for Maria’s hand in marriage. The Castros, who wed in February 1994, have five children and are active members of St. Mary Parish in Indianapolis.
Maria credits the couple’s initial friendship as a foundation for their happy marriage.
“Always start as friends,” she advised other couples. “Have those tough conversations.
“And then you have to love yourself before loving someone else. That way, when you love yourself, you know that you’re capable of loving that other person as well.”
Leaning on faith is imperative, too, Maria added.
“Faith has been a really big part of our relationship,” she said. “We’ve had a lot of different challenges throughout our life, and faith is something we’ve always had. It’s always been there for us—the harder the challenge, the stronger our faith and our marriage became.” †
