Our Works of Charity / David Bethuram

Catholic Charities offers assistance to victims of domestic violence

After immigrating to the United States when she was a little girl, Lucia later met a man whom she thought was a nice guy she was going to start a family with. But he turned out to be a source of physical and emotional pain that led Lucia to feelings of fear, hopelessness and worthlessness.

At Catholic Charities, we see many clients who are survivors of domestic violence, and we provide them with counseling and immigration services to help them overcome a difficult period in their lives.

In recognition of October as Domestic Violence Awareness Month, I’d like to share Lucia’s story. This may be difficult to read, but it provided me with greater insight on the life of those who are abused.

Lucia emigrated from Mexico when she was 6 years old. When she was 15, she met “Jerrod,” who showed her he was different than the other men in her life.

He started walking her to class and after getting to know each other for a while, he asked her to be his girlfriend. She said he was so sweet to her and supportive when she told him everything she and her family had gone through when she was a child. Lucia felt like she finally found someone to protect her and show her what love was.

A few months after they started dating, she found out she was pregnant. Jerrod seemed excited and happy about them starting a family together. Lucia’s parents were not so happy, so she made the decision to move in with Jerrod.

During the first few months of her pregnancy, Jerrod was kind and loving. He made sure she was being taken care of and did anything he could to make Lucia feel welcomed.

One day, when they were at a get-together with Jerrod’s friends, Lucia told him they needed to leave because she was hungry, which made him angry. When he finally drove her home, he slammed on the brakes and started to hit her in the face with the back of his hand. Lucia reached for the doorknob and was almost out of the car when he pulled her back in by her hair. He hit the gas pedal and turned so hard the door closed on its own. The entire time he called her horrible names and said that he hated her.

This became Lucia’s life for the next seven years. Jerrod was in and out of jail, and she was in and out of shelters trying to survive with their three children. She went through so much physical and emotional abuse that she started to believe she was worthless. Her third child was conceived on a night Jerrod treated Lucia like his property. She cried the entire night, and she remembered all the nights she cried wishing it would all just end.

The day Lucia finally left, Jerrod had physically hurt her for the last time. After all the times he hit her, dragged her by her hair, left her to deliver their three children on her own, and sexually abused her, Lucia was finally done. She recalled all the days he told her she was ugly and worthless, and all the times he abused her. Those memories gave her the strength to leave and not look back.

With the guidance of her Catholic Charities’ case manager, she is now working on getting her GED in order to attend college and work in the medical field. After years of disappointment, pain and hopelessness, she now sees a better future for her life and the lives of her children.

Lucia knows there are many challenges to come, but thanks to Catholic Charities the challenge is no longer to survive day by day, but to work and strive for the life that she and her children deserve. With counseling sessions and immigration services, Catholic Charities has provided her with new hope and the opportunity for a better future.

Lucia says that Catholic Charities has changed her life, and for that reason she is immensely grateful.
 

(David Bethuram is executive director of the archdiocesan Secretariat for Catholic Charities. You can contact him at dbethuram@archindy.org.) †