Fall Marriage Supplement
Ministry for divorced Hispanic Catholics ‘brings hope and healing to families’
(En Espanol)
By John Shaughnessy
Considering the pain she endured and the challenges she faced from the heartbreak of having her marriage end in divorce, Maria Nayeli Vazquez could have easily resisted becoming involved in a new archdiocesan ministry designed to help Hispanics through this same difficult journey of life.
Instead, the 43-year-old mother of four decided to follow the example of her grandmother, a woman who always tried to give spiritual support to people who were struggling, who always told them that God was with them in their struggles.
Admiring that approach, Vazquez became a facilitator for the divorce ministry program for Hispanics that was started earlier this year by the archdiocesan Office of Marriage and Family Life—sharing both her pain and her path to healing with the help of God.
“I think no one expects divorce after forming a family with four children and 19 years of relationship,” notes Vazquez, a member of St. Patrick Parish in Indianapolis. “I know it was difficult for all, and for both sides of our families. Our children suffered a lot through this long process. It was a long and slow process. It was painful.”
Amid that pain, Vazquez also worked to maintain a perspective that focused on the well-being of her children.
“It is important to let our children visit both families—and do not talk bad about your ex in front of your children. I try to keep good relations with my ex for the sake of my children. Every day, we continue walking in our recovery together. Now, we only remember how we went through so many things together. We can see how in each situation, God was always with us, showing us his great love for us.
“And there were always people to give us support. I thank God for all the people who were in those moments. They always supported me with their prayers. The challenges were many, but thanks to my Father God I was able to overcome them.”
Helping Spanish-speaking people who are divorced and separated overcome the grief of those realities and find a path to peace and healing are the main goals of the archdiocese’s Hispanic divorce ministry program.
“For several years, there have been courses just for the community in English,” says Claudia Corona, coordinator of events for the archdiocese’s Office of Marriage and Family Life, who took a training program about surviving divorce. “After this course, I saw how much pain is behind a divorce, and the benefits if we implement this program for the Spanish community.
“The goal is to help those divorced or separated from the Hispanic community overcome the trauma of a divorce. Teach them that they are not alone, that the Church welcomes them. Teach them how to overcome the different stages through which a divorce passes. It is important that they are well not only for themselves but also for their children, who are also affected by the trauma of a divorce.”
Corona stresses that the archdiocesan program is based upon the teachings of the Church regarding people who are divorced or separated.
“We clarify that if you had the sacrament of marriage and are divorced or separated without having annulled your marriage, it is not right to date another person. And as long as they are faithful to their marriage vows, they can receive Communion,” she says. “We also give them brief information about the annulment process.”
The program also shares the ways the Church can help and guide them on this journey.
“They have many challenges in their loneliness,” Corona says. “We invite them to turn to the sacraments, Eucharist and reconciliation frequently, and to monthly gather for eucharistic adoration.”
Henry Hernandez was among the two men and four women who participated in the first program, which consisted of 10 90-minute sessions focusing on such topics as self-image, stress, anger, blame, guilt, loneliness, forgiveness and happiness.
One of the most powerful parts of the program for Hernandez and the others was the opportunity to share “my testimony, to be heard and understood, and to meet people who like me are going through this situation in different ways.”
“At the beginning, I suffered depression and anxiety. I thought she was the love of my life,” says Hernandez, who is 38 and a member of St. Mary Parish in Indianapolis. “[After the divorce,] I had financial and emotional problems. It was also very painful not living with my son. Living without family is hard. I needed to learn how to live alone. I began to value my son more for not having him around.”
He also found the value in drawing closer to God during that time.
“At the time of my divorce, I was not close to God. When I decided to go to St. Mary Church, I found real friends. That’s how I met priests and friends who helped me.”
The divorce ministry program had a similar impact for him.
“This program is wonderful. It helps to unburden. It helps you grow,” he says. “There are some aspects that you didn’t even realize you were failing at. Listening to the testimonies drives and motivates one to understand—understand that it is possible to overcome it. I would tell people not to waste time, that it is possible to heal wounds.”
His positive reaction to the program is similar to the evaluations that the other participants shared at the end of the course, Corona says.
“They expressed that they liked the course, that the program helped them to forgive, to not keep resentment, and to have the courage to talk to their ex-partner, knowing that it is important for the children,” she says.
“Hearing testimonies from their peers and facilitators made them realize that they are not the only ones to go through this trauma. It also helped them to see what the facilitators who have gone through the trauma of a divorce have achieved with God’s help—leading a stable life, living close to God and being there in the care of their children.”
While Vazquez was thrilled to be part of the program as a facilitator, she just had one regret about it.
“I would have liked to attend a program like this one when I was suffering the conflicts in my marriage,” she says. “I was looking for a program like this one, but I did not find it. I am grateful that now the archdiocese opened this program in Spanish. I give thanks to God for this new ministry. I feel joy to see how people are connected with our experiences, how they find support in the group—to listen how their life was transformed.”
She has seen that transformation in her family and believes the program can help other families in their journey, too.
“This program brings hope and healing to families. If the parents have peace in their hearts, they will transmit this peace to their families,” Vazquez says. “I invite all people who are divorced or are suffering problems in your marriage to find the source of peace in the Church. Jesus will heal us.”
(The archdiocese’s Office of Marriage and Faily Life is planning another Spanish-speaking program for divorce and separated people in May of 2024. For anyone who is interested in the program or would like to have more information about it, contact Claudia Corona at ccorona@archindy.org or call her at 317-800-9306.) †
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